What are the struggles of a firefighter marriage?

#firefighter #firefighters #marriage #spouse #Stress

Once the glamour wears off, and reality sets in, it's not for everyone.

You have to be able to deal with the long hours away from home, the midnight pager wakeup calls and the reality that your spouse may not come home from a shift or a call.

Facebook fans were asked to share some struggles they've encountered in their firefighter marriages. Read the responses below. And remember, as tough as it is, spouse support means everything.

Trust as a female firefighter in a new relationship. It’s hard to explain to the new boyfriend the closeness between me and my fellow brothers.

Not being able to tell your spouse about your calls, because you don't want them to worry about you.

Getting others to understand that our time is our time. My husband is a volunteer and he also works 12-hour shifts as a jailer. The time we get is so rare and so precious! We make sure to have at least one day, every two weeks, completely devoted to us.

Time management. I am a wife of a volunteer, we have four children, and he has a full-time job. Finding time to spend together is hard. We have one other rule: no fire station talk at home.

Long hours and his grumpiness.

My beloved and precious spouse is not super happy about my neglect of our family in favor of spending time preparing for and responding to other people's emergencies, especially considering there is no paycheck involved. Who could blame her?

I'm career and I find it hard to express and connect on things I've seen or gone through.

Feeling like I raise our kids by myself.

Terror that your significant other will not come home.

My husband does not like the pager going off in the middle of the night.

We want to hear from you too. Post your comments below.


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  • Austin armes on

    My wife understanding why I’m so tired on my first day off of a 24 hour shift. Even if we don’t have a call through the night.

  • Joyce on

    Married to a wild land fighter for 56 years. Have enjoyed every year as he is doing what he was happiest doing. He is almost 80 years old and still working for a company that provides support for Wildland Fire. Still he is happy doing the work. Yes I raised 3 kids somewhat. By my self. But that was ok case I had a happy husband when he was at home.

  • Yari on

    Kissing him good by knowing anything can happen and it might be our last kiss.

  • Jessica Krause on

    My husband is a career FF. I’m a career medic. We are blessed in the sense that we can talk about calls and we ‘get’ each other. But we hardly ever have time together and when we do one of us is usually sleeping.

  • Bob Halsall on

    I am a 30+ year of the Fire and EMS service, retire career and volunteered for several. My wife is and always has been my rock for over 30 years of committed marriage. She has stood by me through thick and thin, moodiness after a long shift, or following a horrific call. Communication is everything but married life to someone in public safety isn’t for everyone. Know your other half before you commit to marriage, be honest about what you can handle and what you cannot.



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